The Ten Band Commandments – brought to us by The New York Times Culture Beat.
1. Thy main goal, and what it’s really all about, is putting on a great show, with great songs. Thou shalt have no other goals before this.
2. If possible, thou shalt refrain from using painful strobes, pointing stage lights directly into the eyes of thy crowd and projecting corny psychedelic images onto thyself. It hath been done.
3. Thou shalt put real thought into choosing a name. There hath been enough bands named after wolves and bears and whales and goats and every other beast that creepeth upon the earth.
4. Thou shalt not be late for thine own gigs.
5. Honor thy publicist and thy booking agent and whoever is doing thine sync rights.
6. It’s O.K. to slay, and it’s O.K. to shred, but thou shalt not murder the vibe by complaining too much about the sound or being unprepared for common occurrences like broken guitar strings. See No. 1.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery while on the road. It’s just a sleazy thing to do.
8. It’s O.K. to wear thine influences on thy sleeve, but thou shalt not make a habit of stealing from other bands, especially ones from the 1980s. For that hath been done an awful lot.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness to journalists by being coy about thine ambitions or artistic influences. No one will begrudge thee for wanting to be a rock star, or for loving the Jesus and Mary Chain. Actually, wait, that last one might be a bad example. Let’s say loving the Velvet Underground.
10. Thou shalt not covet other bands’ success. Work hard, write great songs and keep an eye on thy business, and thou might get a break too.
Written with the inspiration of “The Ten Commandments” by the Fugs.